Maybe it was a long simmering argument or maybe a sudden flash of anger. How ever it happened you and your partner have split. And you are determined to get your ex back.
Because you feel so strongly about the rightness of your relationship you may be tempted to immediately contact your ex. You want to phone your ex at home or at work. You want to show up in a place where you know he or she is likely to be. You want to initiate contact and then force your ex to listen to reason.
But the truth is if you do initiate contact at this early stage you will do more harm than good. It may be very difficult for you but you have to wait, you have to be patient.
The Split Happened for a Reason
You and your ex have split up for a reason, or more likely for several reasons. The cause may not make sense to you but it is still important. If now, soon after the break up, you charge into making contact with your ex, demanding to be heard, you will make the situation even worse than it already is.
Difficult as it may be, you have to wait.
How long you need to wait before contacting your ex will be a tough decision for you. You have to think back to the circumstances of your break up and try to judge from those how long you should wait.
If the break up happened over quite a long period, wait longer. If there was a lot of anger when you broke up, wait longer.
What do you know about your ex? How long will it take him or her to calm down? Once you think you have a good idea of how long to wait, double the time.
Use Your Time for Self Improvement
How ever long you decide to wait, use the time wisely. Again, think about the reasons for your break up. Blame can certainly be laid at the door of both you and your partner but you can only control your own actions.
Think about the cause of your break up and your part in it. When the time comes to talk to your ex you need to be able to acknowledge your mistakes and your faults. You need to be able to assure your ex that you are aware of your less attractive qualities and are already taking steps toward improvement.
To get your ex back you will need to practice self control and patience. You will need to able to look critically at yourself and be willing to make improvements. This may be difficult but if the two of you are meant to be together all your efforts will be well rewarded.
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